IN WHICH BEAR MAKES IT HALF WAY THROUGH

As in half way through the pain management program at the Health Region's Chronic Pain Clinic.

Friday was the end of week three, with three more to do.

I want to share a couple of observations. I think these are important.

1. Every morning, we have at least a couple of half-hour exercise activities. (We usually exercise for about half of that.) Some standing, some sitting, some on the floor. In addition to that, each of us has a personal exercise program — tailored to our needs. We're supposed to attend to that, too; some we'll do in class; some we do on our own.

The physiotherapists working with us noticed something Thursday, to which they drew attention. After only three weeks, we are noticeably more agile. A good thing. Believe me!

2. But it's going to take a lot more work. Most of us are crippled, at least in part, with muscle injuries. When muscles are injured, they don't give us much support. Which, in turn, leads to either pain or more pain.

The goal, in part, is to treat pain by getting muscles working, so they can support our bodies and decrease pain. As I mentioned, we're making progress.

Nonetheless, it takes about 12 weeks to heal and reorganized injured muscles. To re-align the fibres they way they're supposed to be. We've done only three weeks so far. Lots more work to do. But I'll tell you, this is really tiring work. When I get home for lunch, I'm beat!

§      §      §

It's been trying to snow all weekend, in the Great White North (which is actually the Grungy Brown North this year).

When it's winter in the city
And streets are brown and gritty
Then the city's not so pretty
As you know.

We got warning of a major storm planning to blow in yesterday (Saturday) morning. I could see the heavy clouds hanging over the city. And then . . . and then the snow didn't some. No matter how hard those clouds wanted to snow, t h e y   j u s t   c o u l d n ' t   d o   i t . So, instead of the six inches we were expecting, we got about one. Snowdust blowing around. Sheesh! Much sound and fury, signifying nothing, as "Bill the Bard" Shakespeare put it. Meaning we're going to have a dry spring for seeding crops. Not an auspicious start. Not a good thing at all.

Blessings and Bear hugs, friends.

P.S.:
Cowboy one: Ya wanna got to the theatre tonight and see the moving pictures?
Cowboy two: What's showing?
Cowboy one: It's supposed to be a pretty good Eastern.

That was for the Academy Awards, which doesn't seem to have a category for Easterns. Awards show was held last night (in case you missed it, like I did). Frankly, Scarlet, I'd rather be blogging.

IN WHICH BEAR'S ATTEMPT TO HIBERNATE IS RUDELY INTERRUPTED — YET AGAIN

Well. It's like this.

I was nicely settled in my den, stretched out, then curled up. It's still too warm to be really comfortable, but I thought I would give it one more try. Found the right spot to lie in so I wouldn't get wet from the melting show. I was resting delightfully. Oh yes; this was going to be a great winter after all. I had started dreaming about warm sunshine, clear brooks with crisp water, the scent of all the flowers — things to which I would awaken in the spring. Hibernation. Finally!

And you know what happened, don't you. (Such clever people you are.)

Yes, I was woken up! Bounced out of my bed in surprise. As if Tigger had found me and insisted on playing.

I was not amused.

Bah! Humbug! @%#^$&)@!! (That last bit is Bearspeak; it's one of the few expressions which I cannot effectively translate into Human language.)

So, the bad news is that my hibernating ended abruptly. With a bit of shock and awwwww! OK, more than a bit.

Despite that dismay, I discovered I had been awoken for a good reason!

Tomorrow, I begin a six week course at City Hospital (one of the three hospitals in River City). Every morning, Monday to Friday. It's the Chronic Pain Centre's Treatment Program.

(For those of you who new to this blog, I have lived with chronic pain, mental and physical, for a long time. A lot of "war wounds" shall I say — things which have been treated but which have never entirely healed. And on the other side, chronic depression since my teens. Those of you who regularly drop in already know that I am a "peculiar" Bear.)

Right. I've received the outline for the program. It includes things like goal sharing, movement (stretching), relaxation, and time in the pool. (How many of you knew that hospitals have swimming pools in them?)

I've been advised that the program is actually fairly strenuous, and it might be wise not to plan too much for the afternoons. (So I'm planning to hibernate half-days; beats no hibernation at all.)

This is a real step forward. The plan is not to cure the pain of those who are participants; the plan is to teach us how to live creatively with our pain, and reduce the negative experience by doing good things to/for ourselves. I consider that to be a big plus! I expect to pick up some useful ideas. (Actually, I have already learned some interesting things.)

Needless to say, I'll let you know what is happening.

And if I'm restless in the afternoon or evening, I may drop around to visit.

BEAR, IMMOBILIZED (Sorta)

About two weeks ago, I went shopping. Nothing unusual about that.

Except that about the end of the searching out of food, I had this strange pain in my knee. Something new.

And then my hip started bothering me. Hmmmm.

I paid for my food. And limped home.

The situation did not improve, so a few days later, I saw my vet (I mean doctor). Who prescribed some pills, to cut down the inflammation and reduce the pain. Which is reasonable.

Last night, I went shopping again. (One needs some food in the house, er, um, den, if one is going to prepare meals.)

By time I was finished in the store, my hip was feeling extremely tender. (Bear was in agony.)

I made it to the car, and thence home.

Today, after walking around the apartment a few times, and making breakfast, I can Bearly move.

It's better than getting hit by a train. But Bear is "not amused."

VITALITY (A - Z CHALLENGE)

Well, things have certainly changed.

My second doc (yes, I've got two of them now) is trying to help me handle on all this pain with different medications. And you know I've got a lot of it. Pain, that is.

Well, she has helped me reach a significant improvement! Can it be that the Bear is actually pain-free?

OK, not quite, but getting there. Bear is beginning to recover his long-lost vitality! There is some new energy here! Bear may actually start being human again. (Only that would mess up his identity; need to rethink that language.)

Uh, well, hmmmmmm. Lets not get over-excited. But! We'll take a few simple steps first. We'll keep watching the progress. We'll keep celebrating small improvements. And then, one day. . . .

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Also brought to you by the letter V:
• vigilant
• vexatious
• vanquish
• very
• volume

And from the New Phonetic Alphabet, V for la France.

DIMINISHED

I've been feeling particularly sad for some time now. And it's not just my depression, as far as I can tell.

There is something else.

What I'm feeling is diminished. That there is less of me.

One of the realities of moving from a large house to a medium-sized apartment is the need to get rid of things. Particularly things for which we do not expect we will have any space.

It's not so much that I'm tied to my possessions. I'm not.

What I'm missing is file upon file of my work which has to be trashed. Things into which I have put my heart and thought. Which, I think, is appropriate for a writer, and a minister. News articles. Newspaper columns. Special reports on radio. Sermons and other meditations. Bible study material. Unused research notes, waiting for a chance to see the light of day.

All gone.

I'm not just throwing out papers. I'm throwing out part of myself.

And, of course, Sadie's gone now, too, after I spent a lot of time training her, and befriending her.

That's why I feel diminished. So much of me is gone.

MAJOR ANOUNCEMENT!!

On Bear's behalf, the Editorial Committee for this blog is relaying news of a major development.

It concerns Her Ladyship, Miss Sadie, Duchess of St. Swythun's Punt-on-Thames, Duchess of Cardigan and Wooly Boots, and (by Royal Appointment) Guardian of Offa's Dyke. Miss Sadie, Bear's long-time and faithful companion, is parting company with Bear. This decision has been initiated by Bear.

Her Ladyship has released the following statement (which is also to be found on her blog).

By time you read this, I will have moved to a new home and new family!

I have a big brother, who is a Malamute, and who is twice my size. His name is Dugan. I've also got a sister — a black Standard Poodle just like me, but about six years older than me. Her name is Willow. My new master is a veterinarian, who really loves Poodles. So this is going to be a very good thing. At least I think. I hope.

"But where is Bear?" you ask. Bear and J are "moving house." They're leaving their house a block from the river, and moving into an apartment in a building on the opposite river bank. It's a mile or so downriver from where they have been living, and right across from downtown. But one of the rules is that people cannot bring animals with them. I cannot come.

I realize all of this is peculiar, so I'll explain.

At least some of you, maybe all of you, realize that Bear has been getting sicker since last fall. Last weekend, he spent some time in hospital.

For many years Bear has suffered quite a bit of pain, from several "misadventures." Since last fall, the chronic physical pain has has been getting worse, which simply added to the emotional pain of his chronic depression. 

So when he was briefly out of hibernation a while ago, he explained things to me, and we had a good cry together. Just taking me for a walk, on my lead, hurts his neck, and shoulder, and back so badly that he has to take strong medications and lie down when we're finished. And when we play fetch in the back yard, he hurts so badly that he has to lean on his grandchildren's play house in order to stand up.

I had no idea that looking after me, and doing things with me, was hurting Bear so badly!

And that's when he said he had found a new home for me. And that's why he and J are moving. They'll be in an apartment, so he doesn't have to look after the yard, and trees, and gardens, and so he doesn't have to keep up with the house repairs.

I really don't want to leave Bear. I don't want him to leave me.  And I'm sure he doesn't want us to part. But I guess neither of us can help that. As Bear would say, "You win some, and you lose some, and some get rained out."

Good-bye, friends.

Good-bye, Bear! Gonna miss you!

Two members of the Editorial Committee, Frank Serif and Mary Italic, accompanied Miss Sadie to her new home. They are happy to report that Miss Sadie received a warm and enthusiastic greeting from all but Dugan, who growled at her when they first met, and paid little attention to her after that. We trust Miss Sadie will be a long and happy relationship with her new family (despite Dugan's initial response). Indeed, Sadie was so busy playing with Willow she did not see the Editorial Committee members leave.