HOW TO DRIVE A BEAR CRAZEE

Really, it's simple.

All you have to do is mess with the spring weather.

Tuesday: Blizzard. Snow coming down so fast, I couldn't see the river, which is only 100 yards/metres from the apartment my cave. Heavy, wet snow.

Wednesday: Sunny, but cool. Temperatures below freezing. Where the sun was shining on the roads, melting, then turning icy. Water running in the streets in a few places.

Thursday: Combination of sun and cloud. Temperature to -6°C (21F). Streets a bit wet, often icy.

Friday (today): Mixture of sun and cloud. Temperature of about 5°C (40F). A little rivulet of water running into my cave where I was trying to do some late-winter hibernating. Running into my cave and on to my head. Lots of water running in the streets, making everything splashy, and messy, and yucky.

Best description of the situation (in Bearspeak): @$%#^*&%^@#$**

Or just, "Sigh!!"

And, no, I didn't get to hibernate. Not this winter. Not at all.

§                §                §

Some of you may recall that this time, a year ago, Bear was in hospital very briefly. My faithful companion, Her Ladyship, Miss Sadie, was trying to look after things for me. Things had gone from bad to worse. My mental and physical pain had become un-Bear-able. Even suicidal (thought Miss Sadie didn't tell you that last year).

This week, I've been back in that same un-Bear-able position. With no Miss Sadie to look after things for me.

This year, I have not been hospitalized. Fortunately. I have had a completely horrid time, and I'm not out of it yet. But at least I have not been hospitalized. I did not, and I do not, expect things to get that bad this year. It's a different year, and I have different resources available to me. Some things are better. In particular, I'm developing a better way of living with this ongoing, nagging, physical pain. YES!!!

IN WHICH BEAR (ALMOST) SURVIVES A WEEK AT THE PAIN CLINIC

Um. Well. Week one of the Chronic Pain Clinic's treatment program has come, and (almost) gone.

And since some of you asked for the (gory) details, here they are. (Those not thrilled by gory details can skip this, though — truth be told — there isn't much gore.)

When they advised that this was a multi-disciplinary process, they were right on. For example, this week I've had time with the Occupational Therapist, a Physical Therapist, the Psychologist, and the Nurse (a friend, who happens to coordinate the program). We've covered everything from where I hurt, how badly I hurt, what I do about the hurt, and what I hope to learn, accomplish, (and endure?). We also have exercise time, twice a morning, for half an hour at a stretch (so to speak). That's where we get bent into something, and not (hopefully) bent out of shape. They say, "Only do a little bit, don't hurt yourself."

So you know what happened to the Bear, don't you.

Yup.

Back, bent out of shape, or something. Frustrating, at any rate.

I think it happened while the Physical Therapist was checking out my mobility. But by Wednesday, lunch time, Bear was uncomfortable. (They're going to claim it was self-inflicted; I'm saying the Physical Therapist told me to do it, and I'm sticking with MY story.) And I'm still not comfortable. Sigh!

There is also lots of time for "Self-Management." That's where you try out things you have been learning, on your own. That can mean putting ice on injuries, or heat, or reading up on what you have been doing but don't understand. Or practising some of the exercises that we've been shown (as if we didn't get enough of that, already).

BTW: putting something cold on an injury as soon as you can; that helps to limit the swelling, and pain. Put it on for about 15-20 minutes. Later, you can use heat, but first, the cold. And not cream or something in a jar. A frozen pack for putting into the summer picnic cooler is grand. So is a bag of frozen peas, or beans, or corn — that you won't be eating later. But double wrap whatever it is in a towel first. You want to cool the area, not freeze it.

Classroom stuff. Last event of the morning. Chronic Pain and Sleep (developing better "sleep hygiene" when you've got chronic pain — actually quite fascinating). Goal setting — what I want to accomplish while in the program. General Discussion, where we share our experiences. Relaxation. That was this morning's session. I got so relaxed I slept through most of it. Hibernation inside a building! Not quite what I expected, but, well, when it happened, I decided to accept it with gratitude. I got home, had lunch and slept all afternoon — which is what I've been doing most afternoons. (They warned us early on in the process that afternoon sleepiness was one of the things which might happen; I said, "YES!") I told you I'd be hibernating half days on this program.

If you want more details, ask away. There's nothing to hide (so far).

Please Bear with me; there'll be more next week.

IN WHICH BEAR GOES IN FOR A CHECK-UP AND LEARNS . . .

that he is more or less healthy. Despite all the aches and pains.

Terrible weather here — up around O°C (32F). Snow and ice, in the sun, melting. Water sneaking down into Bear's den. Bear, wet, cold, and dirty — also unhappy. (I should have known better than to lie in that position.)

One of the things I usually do is go see my doctor — er, um, vet — when I come out of hibernating. Only this year it's going to be earlier than usual. Much earlier.

On the plus side, there were some berries left over from last fall, hanging on trees. I had a quick snack on the way.

Vet gave me a good going over. My heart is fine; my blood pressure is up a bit (from all this non-hibernating non-sense). Eyes are fair. Ears are good. Nose is excellent, as usual (we Bears make our way around the forests, grasslands and waterways via our noses, since we can't see much at all). Paws are good; claws are a mess, and will have to be sharpened before spring.

But what about this annoying, restless, yearning that keeps me from getting a good winter's snooze? Vet says she can't help me. "It's all weather-related," she says. "Go have a swim in an icy pond," was her suggestion, "then try to get some rest." Right. Sure. But at least she didn't tell me to go and soak my head, or something like that.

"In fact," she continued, "a whole lot of Bears have been coming in early, both the americanus and the arctos horribilis types. Vet predicts there will be an outbreak of generalized grumpiness among Bears in the spring. Great. Just great! Yearlings will be acting up more than usual, picking fights with everybody. Somebody might get hurt, for nothing. (Sigh!) Meaning I will spend a lot of my time trying to calm things down. And the americanus crew — black, brown, cinnamon, whatever colour — will be pushing the habitat boundaries into our area. Drat them anyhow!

A warm winter followed by a hot-blooded spring. I'm getting too "advanced in years" for this stuff. Pretty soon they're going to start calling my Jerry (as in Jerry Atric). And you Humans think you've got it tough with shovelling snow and scraping windows. Hrumf! Grrr!

OK. So, I'm going to try to get back to hibernating. But, well, you know, I really don't feel like sleeping. To tired to do things; too awake to sleep. You ever have that problem?

See you in spring, perhaps.

Update: IN WHICH BEAR FINALLY GETS TO HIBERNATE

Ah, well, finally. The snow came last night. It is still being blown about by swirling winds. The temperature feels like -27°C, which is about -17°F.

◊Update: The temperature today is -38°C (or -36F). The wind chill takes it down to -48C (that's a balmy -54F). With all the ice crystals in the sky, there are huge sundogs, and I can hear them barking. Great background noise to which a Bear can fall asleep.◊

I'm looking forward to seeing all of you in the spring (whenever it arrives, hopefully later than sooner). If I wake up before spring, I'll try to come by for a visit. After which I'll doze off again.

Blessings and Bear hugs to all. And (Janie, especially), ciao for niao.

IN WHICH BEAR HAS PECULIAR EXPERIENCE IN THE BUSH

As you realize, Bear has been very involved in "Occupy Saskatoon." One of the roughly 2,000 Occupy groups around the world.

Monday night, Bear and other "Occupiers" were at the regular meeting of Saskatoon City Council. We had a chance to chat with Council. And found some fairly enthusiastic response. (Meaning the Mayor, I think, actually had to bite his tongue.)  Truth is, you see, we got "in their face." We did it gently. That's the Canadian way. But I mean, really, when we've exposed the need, and are acting on it (housing homeless people), I think we have every right to speak up.

You already know Occupy Saskatoon had been "occupied" by a bunch of homeless people. So, their welfare and future became an immediate concern. Yes, in Saskatoon one can have a job and be homeless at the same time. Such is the price of rent (unless you want to share your place with rats, cockroaches, and bed bugs).

We weren't there to "fight city hall"; we were there to have a conversation with City Council. After all, we are "Occupy Saskatoon: Join the Conversation." (That's our full title.) Our goal is really to occupy peoples' minds, with questions of fairness, health, reasonable incomes and appropriate living standards for all. And then have a conversation.

But earlier today, we got the word that the City was planning to evict us from our location. It's a city park, with about as much bush as grassland. Great camping site; lots of protection from the elements. The word we received was that the police would be there at 6:00 p.m. for a "conversation." So a whole hockey sock full* of us were there to take on the . . . not police?!

Nope. Nary a constable nor sergeant to be seen. Nor the Inspector (Captain, for you Americans), who had talked with us last week.

Instead, a man from the Salvation Army's centre and a very friendly elected Councillor for the city (who used to be a community organizer in his past life).

Hmmmm. What is this? Two people who like us? Two people who support us? Two people who want to work with us? Wonders never cease!

Turns out that the City doesn't want to evict us; the major concern is for our health and safety. A "Won't you come in out of the cold?" gesture. Which was, obviously, not what we thought we would face.

So we did the very Canadian thing. We stood around the camp fire and had a friendly chat about the whole situation. And discovered some possible solutions. (No, we didn't quite get to singing "Kum by yah"; I left my banjo at home.)

We've agreed we're going to keep framing the conversation in "health and safety" language. Because that's what it is; that's the issue — people's health and safety.

"The System" could end up housing a bunch of Occupiers. Perhaps in the same place, to keep our community together. Which might even give us all some meeting space. I suggested (later) that we should call it "Occupy Saskatoon House." And when it gets too full, because of the extra people who come in, we'll let "the System" find a second house for those who won't fit in the first place.

Who? Me? Subversive? Perish the thought. 

Yes, I know; I should be hibernating. But, uh, well, I'm having way too much fun. We're actually starting to solve an immediate problem. Emphasis on "starting." Nobody has had to admitted defeat. Nobody feels like a loser. It's not "them and us"; it's "us and us." I mean, why quit when you're making progress?

Makes the ol' Bear's heart feel good.
________________________

* That's Canadianism for "a whole lot." Anyone who knows how much protective gear one wears when playing ice hockey, and how big a sock one needs to cover said gear on one's legs — such a person understands entirely. ;))

FOLLOW UP ON * * * (cannot be translated)

Bear has retuned to his den. He and I both agreed that weather in the -20°C range, with lots of snow, is just not warm enough to end hibernating. (By time he and I had convinced him of the wisdom in that plan, he looked very relieved!)

Besides, there's nothing out here for him to eat. Except me, perhaps.

Moving on.

Before he left, Bear and I had a "heart to heart" conversation about Some Really Very Important Things. I'll share some of that with you, presently.

* * * (cannot be translated)

Grontf . . . snork . . . shuffle, yawn . . . streeeeeeeeeetch.

OK; who turned on the light in my den?

Oh, wait. That's not a light; that's the sun! 

It's glistening on the snow.

Ooooohh! Bright! I need sun glasses.

Maybe I should find Sadie and figure out that's happening here. I'll have to turn around and look the other way.

Ah; that's better! Things seem to be about right.

Sadie! Hmmmm. Saaaaaaaaadie!

Ah, here she comes. I can hear her coming. Now I'll find out what's happening.

Ooooohh, have I ever got a headache! Maybe I overslept.

PLUNDERED!! PILLAGED!!

 Bear's beloved Mountain Ash tree was stripped bare today by a marauding band of ravenous Bohemian Waxwings.

The foraging flock, numbering perhaps a hundred birds,

attacked the tree about 3:30 p.m. local time, 

wave, upon wave, upon wave. 
(Here is a close-up of one.)

By 3:45, only  a few scavengers could be seen,

cleaning up the few remaining berries on the ground.

The activity of the Bohemian Hoard had been reported 

in the local newspaper earlier. 

The onslaught was not unexpected.

J, our  Bear's  beloved spouse, quickly grabbed her camera, clicking photo after photo, mute witness to the onslaught. 

And where was Bear during the melee?

Hibernating in his Den. 

Proving once again that, "you snooze; you lose."

But he'll be delighted by the pictures when he wakes up. 

Very delighted.

After all, it was for events like today's that he planted 

the Mountain Ash in the first place. 

His simple goal — to attract Waxwings.

Report by Sadie B.; photography by J.B.

WAKE-UP CALL

Try to picture this in your mind.

Bear is sitting on his bed in a motel room. He is talking on the telephone.

"Hello, Front Desk? This is Bear in room 113. I'd like to leave a 'Wake-up Call' for mid-March."

And that's the way it is in cold and snowy Canada.

HIBERNATION TIME.

I've finally got a very melancholy Bear back into his den. Upset Bear, really. Too many difficult things going on.

Next time I won't wake him if something goes wrong, like the shooting of Rep. Giffords. He's really not coping well with a lot of things this year.

Time to let sleeping Bear lie.

FINALLY!

Having celebrated the ancient/new coming of the "Partridge in a pear tree," . . .

IT'S HIBERNATION TIME!

Bear is going to sleep;

please do not disturb!

I'm rejoicing because

my world has calmed down enough

that I can get a

decent winter's snooze.

I'll see you in the spring

(or on a really nice winter's day,

if I wake up).
   

Please don't worry.

The intrepid and ever-faithful

Miss Sadie (Her Ladyship)

will be standing guard, as always.

Should anything calamitous

or thrilling occur,

she knows where to find me,

and will alert me

to the development.

What I do will depend on how awake

and mentally competent I am
(things which are always questionable
where the Bear is concerned).
 

TTFN.

P.S.: If you haven't see the amazing art work I received as Christmas presents,

please see the previous post.

WIKILEAKS

Well. The infamous WikiLeaks about the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are being rolled out. As promised.

What have we learned? Not much. Mostly details; mostly minutia, actually. Frankly, I think it's pretty pretty boring, but the bellophiles (people who love war and all its details) may find it fascinating.

The US got into a couple of wars for reasons not entirely clear. And it's stuck in its position — holding a Tiger by the tail.

There's not much difference between the "good guys" and the "bad guys." The primary difference is that the "good guys" will at least talk to us. But even they have their own plans, which may (or may not) correspond to the plans of the US, its invasion colleagues, and/or NATO.

The US military reports seem to indicate that American soldiers have cause a lot more deaths than they're letting on. Killing the people you're supposed to be helping is just so "not on." Very quick way to lose friends and influence.

I imagine this stuff is going to keep rolling out for a while. You can pour over it if you want; I'm going to try to hibernate. Let me know what happened when I wake up in the spring.

HIBERNATION TIME

The Bear is sleeping;

please do not disturb!

I'll be back by spring,
if not sooner.

WHOA! WHAT'S HAPPENING?

What is this bright light shining into my den?

What's this puddle of water beside where I'm sleeping?

Spring already?

Can't be; I haven't lost any weight.

OK. I'm out of my den, but the sun is way too bright. It's hard on my eyes. I'll look the other way.

Right. Clear blue sky — gorgeous! Sunny and warm. I'll bet it's 15°C. And the snow is all gone.

Time to stretch way up, and yawn, and shake my head, and try to come alive.

There are a couple of squirrels, running around the spruce trees, checking for any more seed cones.

I hear a chickadee, and a nuthatch. There are two thieving magpies chasing each other, practically right in front of my face. I hear a Blue Jay, right, . . . oh, there he is.

There's a Mountain Ash tree, with quite a few bright orange berries. I must have missed that one. Yeah; I was getting pretty dozy.

Seeing as I'm up, I might as well have something to eat. Those berries will be tasty.

Oh, but I'm stiff already. Grumble, trundle, mumble, trundle, mumble. …

Sigh.

I really hate it when my solar alarm clock goes off at the wrong time!

HIBERNATION (or, Hi-Bear-nation)

Yes, it is getting to be that time of year. Colder temperatures; the arrival of snow. I'm very sleepy, and I'm getting foggy-brained.

Hibernation time. 

I've got a really nice den picked out. The foxes used it over the summer for their family home, but they have moved on. This is good. I've tried it out, again, and it's good!

Unlike some other animals, Bears are not "true" hibernators. We don't really pack it in for the whole winter. Like other animals who go into hibernation, our whole bodies (metabolism) slow down, and we live on stored energy. But, on nice days, we come out of our dens, to stretch and enjoy the sunshine, and maybe grab a snack.

So if you don't see me around as much, don't worry; I've just gone into hibernation. And if I show up at your place, don't panic; it's just too nice a day to be sleeping.

And, lest you be concerned, I've made contingency plans for Her Ladyship, Miss Sadie. She will receive excellent care; no question. She may even come to my den to sleep for the night.

See you in the spring, or perhaps earlier. I hope you have a good winter!

Footnote:
Not only is everything covered with ice and snow, this is the first day on which the high temperature for the day will be zero°C, or less.