Tuesday, March 24, 2009

SOMETIMES . . .

Sometimes, I sit and think.
Sometimes, I just sit. -- Anon.

Lately, I've just been sitting. (That's not entirely true -- I've been reading what you've been writing. And adding comments. Sometimes.)

I'm sure my brain will re-engage at some point. But not tonight.

And it really didn't engage this afternoon, when I was in a research ethics board meeting -- the first I have been able to attend for several months. On reflection, I found that inability to really engage was troubling -- even frightening. I feel like I'm not myself right now; I also felt I wasn't doing my job (which I really hate -- because I'm letting down the rest of the team). Weird. Frustrating. But I don't think fatal.

At least I hope it's not fatal.

What it is, is "high nuisance value."

Please "bear" with me.

10 comments:

Natalie said...

Dear Rob Bear, I could not sit through that either.
Is it your illness, fatigue or God giving you a prod? Hmm...
Whatever the reason, I am glad it is not fatal. Not enough bears in the Blogger woods for my liking.x

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Tell me about thinking! I do far too much of it. Sitting, staring into space; but it's how I work and from that come the words.

Looking forward to reading your piece on Autism.

CJ xx

Rob-bear said...

Natalie: A colleague was once fired for illness and fatigue -- they were sick and tired of having him around. I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired. As for prompt from God -- not sure. All I know is that God is with me in this mess, as are a lot of really good people. I'm all right for the shape I'm in. Guaranteed. (Except yesterday's AREB meeting made me wonder what is up.)

CJ: Sometimes it is good to just sit, though there may not be much time for that during lambing.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

I've just come a-Rob-bear hunting - No killing - sorry you are feeling out of sorts, Rob-bear...

Bear up! Oh, you really didn't need to hear me say that, did you?! Hope you feel much more like yourself very soon, Bloggy Bear friend.

Barry said...

Seems I've discovered your blog at a troubling time.

Perhaps it's just the spring blahs. Or is that the summer blahs?

Anyway here hoping it passes soon.

Rob-bear said...

Actually, this has been going on for about three years; that's how long I haven't been able to work regularly. (If I had your e-mail I could tell you more.) Actually, I'm all right for the shape I'm in. It's just that my shape keeps changing.

San Diego Momma said...

I find the need to disengage periodically. My last period of disengagement lasted for a few years. It can be healthy, that mental re-grouping. And when it's not, you can do something about it, which I just did (medication...but I'm a hormonal mess, which I assume you are not!).

Rob-bear said...

You're right; I'm not entirely a hormonal mess. I have some problems with my adrenal glands (meaning I don't have a lot of adrenalin, and thus energy) but I don't think that's the same as your situation (mental-pause?).

Rob-bear said...

Woman/NI: I'm "bearing up." Just bearly -- or is that barely? Hmmmmm. . .

GutsyWriter said...

I hope today is better for you. I linked to your blog in my post, where your synopsis is mentioned. Hope this cheers you up. See you.